| | I hate times like these. I can’t sleep even though I’m exhausted cos all I do is lie in bed and think about how I really don’t want to be me. My life is generally good, I have a fantastic boyfriend that would go to the ends of the earth for me, friends that will be there no matter what and parents that support me in everything I do, but I still just lie there and think about how easy it would be to run away. I worked out earlier that it would only cost me a little over $1000 to change my name and move away from here, leaving everyone and everything behind and starting over. I was actually really relieved to find how easy it would be to disappear.
I don’t know why, but when I thought about Alix, my parents and my friends, I thought “They’d probably be worried for a while if I just left without a word, but I honestly don’t care cos they’d get over it. I just don’t want to be me anymore. I just want to cut all ties and start with a clean slate.” Does thinking that make me a selfish person? I just want to go somewhere I won't be found and be left alone with nothing to tie me to the life I’m living right now. I even know what I'd change my name to.
I guess everyone has their own version of pure freedom, and this is mine.
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| | Posted 11/26/2008 3:00 AM - 7 Views - 2 eProps - 0 comments
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